Lost My Child Due to Deployment
by Regina
Mothers shouldn't lose their children because they serve
I cried for months after losing my son in 2005 upon redeployment. Back home, it is still painful today. I knew my ex-husband would try something, and he succeeded with the help of the courts. JAG could do nothing.
It seems everyone thinks a wounded warrior is a physically wounded Soldier, which they are. But what about those of us who are still wounded mentally because the courts took our children away from us?
I'm still going through court today and this happened in 2005. I'm still paying money for attorneys. I'm still fighting the war!
My husband remarried a couple of months after I arrived back home and they don't allow any contact at all with my son. They wouldn't adopt him and they get my child support every month.
As I have stated in the past, my welcome home wasn't a welcome home, because I never got my family back.
This terrible ordeal has cost me thousands and still is...where is my support?
V/R,
Regina
Regina, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I'm hearing more and more stories like yours, and it's heartbreaking.
No mother should lose her child simply because she is a member of the military! Our judges need to be better educated, and the military needs to support service members having to grapple with this issue.
You mentioned that you pay child support, but that your ex-husband doesn't permit any visitation? Doesn't your custody arrangement specify a visitation schedule for you? If not, that's the first thing your attorney should be working on...
At the moment, I'm not aware of attorneys willing to handle these matters for service members pro bono (free), but I will see if I can find some information about the possibility, and will post back here if I find anything.
Readers, if you know of attorneys who represent service members for free, or for a reduced rate, please post in the comments below.
Thank you for your service. Your sacrifice is one that no mother should have to make in order to serve.
Update
Regina, I'm thrilled to tell you Congress has finally heard you and others like you and enacted a federal law that now prevents this from happening in the future. Print out the pdf file that's linked on this page, take it to your attorney, and ask if it will provide a basis now for your to try to regain custody.
Let us know how things work out for you.
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